Lady Of Stone

Jericho, an antique dealer who regularly made a profit, was known for his charm and ability to obtain that which was unattainable. He had modelled himself on the 'Lovejoy' image and had now become well known throughout the antique dealing community, and also amongst the police for his near-to-the-knuckle antics. He was a real-life charmer who was never short of a pretty woman. You either loved him or he was tolerated. He was the type of character you could never hate.

His latest commission for a life sized Victorian Stone Statue of a Nude Lady was giving him a few headaches. It would be big money but the request was also big in weight and very limited in availability. He knew where he could get hold of one but unfortunately it was not for sale.

'Needs must' meant that a night-time raid would be required with the assistance of his dubious partner Joshua. Movement of the statue would be no problem as Joshua had a large open trailer with a sloping tail gate. It also had a pulley attachment to a flat bedded trolley which ran in grooves on the base of the trailer. This would enable them to tilt the statue, slide the trolley under it and use the pulley system to move it safely onto the centre of the trailer. At the other end of the journey all that would be required would be to pull a lever and reverse the process.

At this stage in their careers the pairs reputation had built to such a degree that the police had a large file on them and they had been renamed 'The Jay Twins.' This did not bother them and they had become quite attached to their nickname, even to the extent of letting their friends call them by it. They also showed lack of concern that this latest venture might well be added to their file.

The decision was made for a midnight start to the operation. This would mean they could load up, travel, offload and have the statue in position in the grounds of her new home before the lady of the manor's curtains were drawn in the morning. Jericho thought, what a smashing surprise for her. He would collect payment later as she was a trusted client who had added to his wealth on numerous occasions.

Everything went to plan with the pair managing to carry out the lifting and removing of the statue without any hitches. Joshua had built a wooden frame to fit the statue in, with a black cloth to fit over the nude lady, this would avoid unnecessary attention from any other night time travellers.

When they arrived at the manor house, shock and realisation hit the pair. Staring them in the face was a life size Victorian Stone Statue of a Nude Lady. They still had theirs on the back of the trailer. A heated discussion took place with Joshua screaming that he would kill Jericho and Jericho screaming that he would murder Lady Hamilton.

Considering their options, they came to the conclusion there were none. Their statue needed returning before it was noticed that it was missing and nothing would be gained by waking Lady Hamilton to demand an explanation at this time in the morning. They both returned home feeling completely demoralised.

Jericho collapsed into his bed, completely shattered, just as daylight was dawning. No sooner had his head hit the pillow than his phone rang.

"Hello Jerry, sorry to wake you at this unearthly hour but I need to cancel my order. Lawrence surprised me by getting the statue for my birthday. Wasn't that a smashing present? So thoughtful of him."

Jericho slammed down the phone and covered his ears with his pillows.


... Return to Blog Page