Here Today Gone Tomorrow

A bullet in the head...dead. Sounds so easy but it's not. But it is for me or was. I'm now retired, wealthy and living in the sun. What more could you want? I hear you ask.

Let's start with friends, I have none. I can't have any. Nobody must know me closely or know what I do. If they did I would get found out. Perhaps even a bullet in the head...dead.

I can't have a home, just somewhere to lay my head. It usually takes six months from the time I am given the name of my next job until I complete the assassination. I'm not fussy, male or female, both sexes are expendable. During the planning stage I usually move house at least twice, sometimes more depending on circumstances. I must leave no evidence, so you will not know I've been living near you because I will be gone almost as quick as I arrived. You will only see me as a shadow, I'm in the background all the time, not even worth another look. To be in one place too long would develop routines which people will remember. I will be gone once I have put a bullet in a head...dead.

A wife and family, wouldn't that be nice? I don't know, I can have neither. Everything must move, as and when. The target dictates my life. Telling false truths to strangers is easy. To a wife and family, I would be telling lies. I could not lie to someone I was close to. Closeness to any woman is a distraction, especially when they are on the hunt for a partner. Too much closeness within a family and I'd be found out. As bad as a bullet in the head...dead.

Continual fear is something normal people do not know. I live in continual fear. Fear keeps me on my toes. I walk down the street watching people, things, movements, my head never moves but my eyes do. If my head moved, someone would see and know. Am I a target? I do not know, but I must be. When and where I do not know. To get anywhere I change direction many time, unless I'm tracking, then I'm in and out of alleyways, roads, places, so that I won't be seen. I buy and sell cars as if there is no tomorrow...there isn't, but to be identified I cannot risk. Buses, jump on, jump off. Bikes, I help myself. People are very kind and leave them unlocked for me. To relax would be nice. Even now, lying on the beach, I will never get a suntan. Someone might be watching me. I hope I'm watching them. I can't be sure, must move or be found out. To stay I fear a bullet in the head...dead.

It all started when I was adopted at the age of five. Both my parents worked for the Government. I found out later, after they were assassinated, that they were very important people. It was not very traumatic because I did not know them and they did not know me. Their lifestyle would not allow them to get too close to the public, I was a member of 'the public', at least that was how it was explained to me by my pretend parents. They also worked for the Government but were only minor players in Governmental games. They were away often so I was looked after by every Tom, Dick and Harry, they also worked for the Government. Very few people spoke to me so I spoke to very few people. I've always been very clever but in the early days I was weak. And got bullied. When I got older I got my revenge, I became the bully, I had this thing about making sure the injury I caused would be remembered. I used to like to break things. People left me to my own devices. I used to pretend to shoot people, with a toy gun, a bullet in the head...dead.

People were watching my development. They were waiting...waiting for the right time. That time came when I was charged with malicious wounding and attempted murder. I was found guilty but never went to prison. The van took me to a training camp for development. It was a Government training camp. To pass out and earn my Certificate of Competence I had to commit murder. Not an assassination, just a person chosen at random. When she was lying on the floor I got a fantastic Buzz. I realised I had found my vocation. I shot her with a bullet in the head...dead.

I've come a long way since then and now I'm lying in the sun trying to learn how to relax...but I can't. I really should move bu....


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