Mavis is not only my wife but my assistant, part of the act, she does all the dangerous bits. She gets tied up, sawn in half and regularly has swords pushed through her body...but she also gets the chance to prance around the stage half naked. In the old days the last bit was great, she had a smashing figure but...I'll say no more than time ages all of us.
Anyway, today we're practising something a little bit different and she's been moaning about it for days, says it won't work and I'm bloody stupid to try it.
I'll stop here because I need to let you know that as a member of the Magic Circle I will be going into very little detail on how the trick is done, in fact, I will be telling you bugger-all because...I'm a magician and that makes me cleverer than you.
First thing this morning I set up the contraption we will be using, on my own. I set it up early because I needed to familiarise myself with its workings and Mavis is still nagging me about it, so it's better if she's not here. She'll be here in five minutes, that means within the half-hour, then we can start. I just hope she's pulled herself together by then.
Right, she's here so we can start. The set-up's the same as normal, trestles and boxes with holes for swords, plus slots for saws. The curtains are standard practice ones. These are needed because this time I'm removing the trestles the boxes are resting on.
Well that's it, job done. The police have arrived. This is where I disappear...Abracadabra!